Merry Eve of Christmas Eve, everybody!

Tomorrow is a big day for me; I have not one, but two Christmas Eve church gigs!

Since tomorrow will be all about the musically sublime, I thought it would be fun to devote tonight to the musically ridiculous!

I think everyone has at least one: the song that inspires bone-chilling dread every year, as soon as the Halloween are cleared from store shelves to make way for the commodities of Christmas. The song that makes you breathe a sigh of relief when December 26 rolls around. I know I do!

Herewith, Miss Music Nerd’s 5 Most Un-favorite Christmas songs!

First, a few parameters:

• Only traditional, widely-known songs are eligible for this infamy, as Miss Music Nerd is not going to waste her beautiful mind keeping up with current pop mediocrity. That’s well-covered elsewhere.
• I’m not going to get into the topic of bad covers of songs that may or may not be good; we’d be here all night. The particular performance doubtlessly has an impact on one’s opinion of the song, though.
• McDoc asked me what my criteria are for categorizing a song as an un-favorite. If I took my time, I could probably articulate it in more detail, but for now I’ll just sum it up: songs that bug the sh*t out of me. 🙂

1. It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

‘Jingle bell’ and ‘mistletoe’ are nouns that should not be verbed. That is all.

2. Santa Baby

A common complaint about Christmas is that it’s too centered on materialism; common complaint about Halloween is that costumes for women are needlessly floozy-ish. This song gives you both.

3. Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer

It was sort of funny the first time… Actually, no, it wasn’t. 😛

4. Must Be Santa

Call me a mean old grouch, but I’m not so groovy with these additive, repeat a phrase eleventy times kinds of things. And a note about this performance: Mr. Dylan, Barbara Streisand called; she wants her hairstyle back. 😛

5. The Boar’s Head Carol

I chose this one not because I actually dislike it all that much; in fact, I like the harmony of the chorus quite a bit. However, it commits the musical sin of having the text set such that the ac-CENT goes on the wrong syl-LA-ble. Three times! >:-( The offending syllables are in bold below. That fourth one’s a wobbler, but I don’t like it.

The boar’s head in hand bring I,
Bedeck’d with bays and rosemary.
I pray you, my masters, be merry
Quot estis in convivio (Translation: As many as are in the feast)

CHORUS
Caput apri defero (Translation: The boar’s head I offer)
Reddens laudes Domino (Translation: Giving praises to the Lord)

The boar’s head, as I understand,
Is the rarest dish in all this land,
Which thus bedeck’d with a gay garland
Let us servire cantico. (Translation: Let us serve with a song)

CHORUS

Our steward hath provided this
In honour of the King of Bliss;
Which, on this day to be served is
In Reginensi atrio. (Translation: In the Queen’s hall)

Also, as a vegetarian, I can’t much warm to the idea of eating a pig’s head, though I appreciate the don’t-waste-anything ethic it represents. 😛 I’m fortunate to have a wealth of alternatives!

Finally, because I hate to end on a sour note, here’s one of my not-un-favorites. This, I think, is just one of the most beautiful things ever. 🙂