Happy June, Music Nerds everywhere!

I have been in a dark place lately. Way too much of this:

…and not nearly enough of this:

That being the case, I have been hesitant to inflict myself on the world.

What is the cause of this sad state of affairs, you ask? Well, I have been afflicted with the paralysis of perfectionism. It’s an insidious condition that stops you in your tracks, so afraid that anything you do will be inadequate, you just don’t do anything at all.

If ever you’re able to look at it in the light of day with a rational eye, you see very easily that it’s complete and total horse hockey. But when it’s the middle of the night and those random shadows on the wall seem undeniably real, you sorta lose perspective.

And after awhile, up crop all the nagging questions that typically accompany generalized existential angst:

Why am I here?

Why do I write?

What’s the point of it all?

(Side note: I noticed from looking at my stats that readership is higher during the weekdays than on the weekends. That led me to conclude that people were reading my blog when they ought to be working instead. Am I responsible for distracting people? Leading them down a garden path, and contributing to a decrease in productivity, hurting the economy — and thereby hurting America? 😉 )

You know what, though? If you do this tortured-artist song and dance long enough, it becomes tiresome, finally. I know I’m tired of it. So I’ve made a decision.

The internal voice that reflexively says “not so fast, young lady” – the inner critic that finds a way to damn everything before it even exists – I hereby banish it.

Enough already. Whether I really did something so outrageous on some long-ago occasion that I needed to install such a filter in my brain, or whether it’s just part of the birthright – more like a birth defect – of my cultural milieu, I now declare: point taken. Lesson learned. We can move on now.

I’ve decided to simply give myself permission. Carte blanche. To write about whatever I want. Music will always be my first love, but music won’t be jealous if I love other topics as well. (The first commenter who asks, “Why are you writing about [some non-musical topic] on a blog called ‘Miss Music Nerd'” will get some kind of a prize. Maybe something like this.) Does that mean I risk going overboard occasionally? Sure. Is this whole thing a bit of an over-correction? Absolutely. But it’s a risk I’m willing to take, finally. No one’s physical safety is at stake, after all; if I screw up, it might be embarrassing, but no animals will be harmed. 😉